Akatsuki Kittens: Chapter 1: A Lovely Morning

Back to Menu

Chapter 1: A Lovely Morning
It was a relatively normal day in a relatively abnormal organization. But then again, the Akatsuki would never be normal as long as they had, well, just about everybody.

“Heh heh…” Tobi smiled under his mask, “Senpai’s shampoo smells so goooood…”

“TOBI!” Deidara yelled from the bathroom, “GIVE ME BACK MY SHAMPOO, UN!!!”

“Breakfast is ready!” Konan shouted

“GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM WE ALL HAVE TO SHOWER TOO, FOR JASHIN’S SAKE!!” Hidan swore

“Lemme sleep…” Itachi murmured before suddenly waking up, he looked at the mirror in his room and gasped in horror, “MY LOVELY HAIR!!!! IT’S RUINED!!!”

“I’m hungry.” Zetsu said, “Let’s eat someone, how about Kisame, he’s a fish right?'”

“DUDE, I’M NOT A FISH!!!!” Kisame protested

“SHUSH!!!” Zetsu said to himself, “No eating people!!”

“Then I’ll eat you instead, I’m hungry,” he answered

“NOT IF I EAT YOU FIRST!!!” he retaliated

Zetsu’s leaves closed as he began a heated “war” with himself as his two halved attempted to eat each other.

“One…two…three…four…”Kakuzu counted out loud, suddenly a half-naked and completely covered in soap Hidan came flying into his precious stacks of money.

“KESONA, DEIDARA!!!!” Hidan shouted as he charged back into the warzone/former bathroom

“Wait,” Kakuzu hissed as he extended his arm and grabbed Hidan’s left ankle, “you damaged my money, now you have to pay up…”

“Who cares? It’s just money!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“JUST  MONEY?!?!?!??!” Kakuzu seethed

<p class="MsoNormal">Before they could full-out murder each other, Pein walked out of his room and glared at the two Akatsuki members.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hidan and Kakuzu stared daggers at each other, but then minded their own business.

<p class="MsoNormal">Sasori trudged out of his room, since he’s a puppet, he doesn’t bathe, or sleep, so he was the only one who didn’t have a morning routine, and the only one who didn’t have to participate in the all-out war for the shower.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Out of my way,” Itachi grumbled,

<p class="MsoNormal">“NO!!! WAIT YOUR TURN!!!” Hidan shouted

<p class="MsoNormal">Itachi glared at him, not doing anything

<p class="MsoNormal">“Do you really want to anger me?” he questioned

<p class="MsoNormal">Hidan smirked and taunted, “What can you do, lil’ weasel?”

<p class="MsoNormal">That was it.

<p class="MsoNormal">The sound of “AMATERASU!!!!” rang though the entire hideout.

<p class="MsoNormal">Konan sat up and yawned while stretching, apparently, she managed to stay asleep through the entire ordeal.

<p class="MsoNormal">She grabbed a towel, hairbrush, headband, and her Akatsuki cloak, and headed down to the spare bathroom downstairs.

<p class="MsoNormal">She then took a shower, brushed her hair, etc, and walked back upstairs to breakfast.

<p class="MsoNormal">As she sat down at the table, she noticed that none of the boys were here, so then she asked Konan, “Konan-neechan, why do the boys never go to any of the other bathrooms in the hideout?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“They’re just too lazy, apparently walking all the way up or down one set of stairs is just too tiring.” She answered.

<p class="MsoNormal">The boys were still squabbling near the bathroom; screams of “KATSU!!!”, “AMATERASU!!!”, and “DIE!!” were rather common.

<p class="MsoNormal">But magically, within three hours, they all managed to get to breakfast.

<p class="MsoNormal">Itachi was mumbling about something and bumping Hidan in the shoulder, then he’d bump back and grumble some more.

<p class="MsoNormal">“You chipped my nail polish.” Itachi mumbled

<p class="MsoNormal">“You got in my way.” Hidan grumbled back

<p class="MsoNormal">“You made my hair stick up.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“You melted my Jashin symbol necklace.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“You annoy me.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“You annoy me too.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Shut up.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“No.”

<p class="MsoNormal">Then Itachi bumped a little too hard and Hidan knocked over Kakuzu (who was still counting) who knocked over his money.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hidan…” Kakuzu glared

<p class="MsoNormal">“It was Itachi’s fault!” Hidan protested

<p class="MsoNormal">Itachi whistled, and looked away innocently.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hidan and Kakuzu were about the kill each other, for the second time that morning, when Pein, once again, interfered.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Today, there will be a meeting in the-“

<p class="MsoNormal">“TOBI WANTS TO PLAY A GAME!!!” Tobi grinned

<p class="MsoNormal">He seemed to think hard for a while, and then replied, “How about truth or dare!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“NO!!” Everyone but Tobi and Konan shouted.

<p class="MsoNormal">Konan smiled, “Sure, why not?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Konan-chan, that was a really bad idea, un,” Deidara whispered in her ear

<p class="MsoNormal">“Seriously, he might dare you to do something really embarrassing, Konan-chan.” Sasori whispered in her other ear, “Like kiss Deidara or something.”

<p class="MsoNormal">She turned red, “I-I-I wouldn’t really m-mind that…” as she pushed her index fingers together.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Let’s play!” Tobi cheered

<p class="MsoNormal">The Akatsuki members sat in a circle, Sasori was to the left of Konan, and Tobi the right, Deidara wanted to sit next to Konan, but Tobi insisted he sit between them; Deidara would’ve blown him to bits if Konan wasn’t there. Next to Deidara was Kisame, next to him was Itachi, who was still holding a grudge against Hidan, and sat next to him so he could still bother the religious immortal, next to Hidan was Kakuzu, which was a really bad idea, considering how likely it was they would attempt to kill each other again. Next to Kakuzu was Pein, and Konan was obviously sitting next to him, and beside Konan was Zetsu, and the loop starts again. <p class="MsoNormal">“Okay!!” Tobi shouted, “I go first!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Next