Akatsuki Kittens: Chapter 3: Neko Life

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Chapter 3: Neko Life
Ita-neko was mortified.

His hair…

It was…

Ruined…

Again.

Not only that, he couldn’t even use a comb to fix it.

He looked down, only to be met with similar horror.

His nails…

They were chipped…

And the nail polish…

WAS RUBBING OFF!!!!

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“Tobi is a good boy!” He sang to himself

“Nya nya~ Nya nya~ I’m a lil’ kitti- ooooooh, cookies!!!”

Tobi lifted his mask and ate exactly two cookies, then left.

A few minutes later…

<p class="MsoNormal">“Ouchie! Tobi has a bad headache!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Then he noticed he was the same height as the stool.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Yay! Tobi is a neko now too!!” he shouted as he dashed off to find Deida-neko-senpai

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<p class="MsoNormal">Kona-neko and Pei-neko were in the same corner.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Do you think that idiot is still chasing us?” Pei-neko asked

<p class="MsoNormal">“Maybe not,” Kona-neko answered, “perhaps we should check.”

<p class="MsoNormal">She stealthily crawled out, as if stalking her prey; Pei-neko couldn’t help but admire her form.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Well, the stealth was unnecessary.

<p class="MsoNormal"> "DEIDARA-SENPAAAIIII!!!" Tobi-neko shouted as he ran, "WHERE ARE YOOOOOU?!?!?"

<p class="MsoNormal"> "Is that... Tobi… as a cat?" Kona-neko asked

<p class="MsoNormal"> "Seems like it, so we don't have to fear being smothered to death in his murderous hugs." Said Pei-neko as he got up, "Let's find the others."

<p class="MsoNormal"> Kona-neko nodded, and chased after Pein-neko.

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<p class="MsoNormal"> Ze-neko was annoyed.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Half of him was hungry so his other half would stop his other half from eating people.

<p class="MsoNormal"> That would start a war between the two halves, and they'd start eating each other.

<p class="MsoNormal"> But now that they were cats, his leaves disappeared; instead, he had a ridiculous tuft of green fur on his head.

<p class="MsoNormal"> The process of attempting to eat yourself is not a pretty sight, and Zetsu usually would hide that by closing his leaves.

<p class="MsoNormal"> Now he couldn't.

<p class="MsoNormal"> "Great," Ze-neko said, "Now I'm hungry.”

<p class="MsoNormal"> "You're always hungry!" He answered

<p class="MsoNormal"> "No I'm not!"

<p class="MsoNormal">“Yeah you are!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Not true!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Very True!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Is not!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Is too!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“I’m gonna eat you!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Once again a war broke out.

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<p class="MsoNormal">Hida-neko was really angry.

<p class="MsoNormal">He tried to pick up his three-bladed scythe, but his tiny cat body couldn’t do anything.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Forgive me Jashin-sama!” He cried, “I cannot fulfill my doctrine in this pathetic cat’s bo-“

<p class="MsoNormal">Kaku-neko silenced him by leaping onto him and stepping on his face.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Be quiet, unless you wish to be tortured by that insolent brat Tobi.” He snarled

<p class="MsoNormal">“Get off me!” Hida-neko hissed, “If Tobi gets near me I’ll kill him, xikeso!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“In that form?” Kaku-neko mewed, “The most you can do is kill a mouse.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“SHUT UP!!!” Hida-neko snarled

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<p class="MsoNormal">Saso-neko was really nervous.

<p class="MsoNormal">He was back.

<p class="MsoNormal">In a real body.

<p class="MsoNormal">He couldn’t believe it.

<p class="MsoNormal">It was terrible.

<p class="MsoNormal">And worst of all, the TV was on next to him.

<p class="MsoNormal">And Pinocchio was on.

<p class="MsoNormal">“I wanna be a real boy!” Pinocchio exclaimed

<p class="MsoNormal">“Been there, done that,” Saso-neko mumbled, “not fun…”

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<p class="MsoNormal">Deida-neko was trying to comprehend what Kanari told him.

<p class="MsoNormal">No. Using. Jutsu.

<p class="MsoNormal">What would happen if someone attacked? The Akatsuki would be doomed, there was no way Kanari could fend off an entire elite platoon by herself. And the rest of the Akatsuki were cats, CATS!!!

<p class="MsoNormal">“DEIDARA- SENPAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!” meowed an annoying orange-faced black cat as it jumped onto Deida-neko.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Tobi?!?! You’re a cat now, un?!?!?” Deidara meowed back

<p class="MsoNormal">“Mewwwww,” Tobi-neko purred, “Yeah! Tobi is a good kitty!!” he said as he pounced on Deidara again.

<p class="MsoNormal">“H-hey! Get off me, un!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Tobi-baka is a cat now, good.” Kaku-neko and Hida-neko walked in from a hallway.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Sasori is watching TV in the living room.” Kaku-neko mewed

<p class="MsoNormal">“I saw him on my way here,” Pei-neko meowed, stepping from the shadows with Kona-neko, “And Zetsu was trying to eat himself, again.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“We should find everybody,” Kona-neko said, “And then hold a meeting to figure out what to do.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Good idea,” Everyone agreed

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<p class="MsoNormal">Kisa-neko was trying to eat the Akatsuki’s pet goldfish/koi.

<p class="MsoNormal">But he couldn’t reach.

<p class="MsoNormal">Kisa-neko was about to leap towards the fishbowl when Kanari found him.

<p class="MsoNormal">“There you are!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Kisa-neko almost fell from the counter.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Kanari-chan?”

<p class="MsoNormal">Kanari picked Kisa-neko up and put him in her basket.

<p class="MsoNormal">“W-what the…?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Just stay in there, I’m not sure where everybody is, so I’m just going to look for them, kay?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Okay…?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“And one more thing,” she “friendly-glared” at Kisa-neko as he sweat-dropped,

<p class="MsoNormal">“No eating the goldfish, promise?”

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<p class="MsoNormal">All the Akatsuki cats were watching Pinocchio except for Kisa-neko and Ita-neko, who were either in a basket or still trying to fix his hair/nails.

<p class="MsoNormal">Kanari peeked into the bathroom, Ita-neko was trying to paint his nails, but only managed to spill all the “Royal Purple” L’Oreal nail polish.

<p class="MsoNormal">“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Kanari picked him up and placed him in her basket.

<p class="MsoNormal">“I’ll do your nails and hair later, okay?”

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<p class="MsoNormal">Kanari went to the living room and found all the cats staring at the TV.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hi guys!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Kanari-chan!”

<p class="MsoNormal">Kisa-neko and Ita-neko dove out of the basket to see what everyone was looking at.

<p class="MsoNormal">“…Pinocchio?” They mewed

<p class="MsoNormal">“What’s wrong with it?”

<p class="MsoNormal">The doorbell rang suddenly and Kanari rushed to answer it.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hello?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Hellloooo Kanari-chan…” Orochimaru grinned maliciously

<p class="MsoNormal">“Eh? Oro-chan what are you doing here?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“To destroy the Akatsuki, BWUA HWUA HWUA HWUA HW-“

<p class="MsoNormal">Kanari didn’t know what to do, so she grabbed the cutest kitten, Tobi-neko, and shoved him in Orochimaru’s face.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Could you ever destroy something as adorable as this?” She asked innocently with googly eyes

<p class="MsoNormal">Tobi-neko made googly eyes too

<p class="MsoNormal">Orochimaru’s eyes became hearts, “KAWAII!!! MY NEW BODY!!!! NYAAAA!!!!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Get’em Starrk.” Kanari ordered

<p class="MsoNormal">All the Akatsukittens clawed at Orochimaru’s face as he drowned in a pile of cuteness.

<p class="MsoNormal">When they got off, Kanari took Orochimaru to the kitchen. <p class="MsoNormal">“Want a cookie?” she asked innocently

<p class="MsoNormal">Next